Eddie Murphy movie quotes
Coming to America (1988) movie quotes
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Eddie Murphy movie quotes , playing Prince Akeem:
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movie quotes: Give a hand to my band, Sexual Chocolate.
movie quotes: I am a man who has never tied his own shoes before!
movie quotes: Sir, where can one go to find nice women here?
movie quotes: I want a woman that will arouse my intellect as well as my loins
movie quotes: Is it just me, or does every woman in New York have a severe emotional problem?
movie quotes: Listen, I know what I like, and I know you know what I like, because you were trained to know what I like, but I would like to know, what do you like?
Harlem Nights (1989)movie quotes
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Eddie Murphy movie quotes , playing Quick:
movie quotes: I'm not playing with you. I will blow that black, crusty, dead knarled motherfucker the fuck off your foot! Now put the razor away!
movie quotes: You're gonna be the nine-toed-havingest-limpingest bitch in Harlem if you don't stop fucking with me.
movie quotes: All right, bitch, you want to fight? We can fight then, you fat motherfucker, l'm tired of your shit!
movie quotes: Oh, shit... somebody fucked you up real bad. I'll tell you what... I'm gonna go now, cuz I think you want to sit there, by yourself, and think about who you pissed off. Excuse me.
Another 48 Hrs. (1990) Movie quotes
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Eddie Murphy movie quotes , playing Reggie Hammond:
movie quotes: Oh, get the fuck outta here! Just 'cause I'm a convict, every thin' that comes outta my mouth is a god damn lie?
movie quotes: Okay, I got no car, I got no money, and I'm gonna end the day off with this goddamn dope man's Uzi by my temple! Thank you, Jack! Look, this is Jack's day, why don't you just let Jack shoot me? Save your bullet! Jack, why don't you shoot me? Shoot me, Jack!
movie quotes: No, 'cause I have a gun and I'll pop a cap in your ass!
movie quotes: You think I'm happy about being here think again. I'm supposed to have money in my pocket and a new life and the last thing I wanted was to be hooked up to your dumb ass again and you? You're about two steps away from where I was yesterday so you're not running shit. I'm gonna lay it out straight Jack: I don't like you and I don't trust you.
movie quotes: Let me tell you something, Jack. If shit was worth something, poor people would be born with no asshole.
Eddie Murphy Delirious (1983) movie quotes
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Eddie Murphy movie quotes , playing Eddie Murphy
Eddie Murphy: My mother ran in the bathroom, see my big brother sitting in the bathroom with a piece of shit in his hand in the tub, I was laying in the bottom of the water with blood gushing out my eye, G.I. Joe up my ass. My mother's like, "What the fuck going on in here?"
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Eddie Murphy: Now, a brother's dick is too big, so it'll fuck up his balance... Every time you see a brother in a wheelchair, he ain't always crippled.
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Eddie Murphy: Bear and a rabbit were taking a shit in the woods. And the bear turns to the rabbit and says, "Excuse me, do you have problems with shit sticking to your fur?" And the rabbit says, "No." So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.
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Eddie Murphy: I been seeing newspapers every Sunday morning, white dudes be in there in their drawers, never having no bulge in they drawers. Smiling at you. If I ain't have no bulge, I wouldn't be smiling!
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Eddie Murphy: Brothers act like they couldn't have been slaves back 200 years ago. It's like the motherfuckers LIKED that shit. "I whish I was a slave, I would fuck somebody up! Shit, tell ME to bale some motherfucking cotton! I would been on the street and shit, would've come up and say, "Ay, yo, nigger, bale this cotton!" I would say, "Suck my DICK, massa!""
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Eddie Murphy: Mick Jagger's lips' so big, black people be going, "You got some big-ass lips!"
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Eddie Murphy: [about slavery] The first nigger who tried that shit... Somebody said, "Nigger, bale this cotton" and he said "Fuck you, Massa"...
[sound of a whip]
Eddie Murphy: The other motherfuckers said, "All right, we'll bale the shit, all right. Just keep that fucking shit away from me."
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Eddie Murphy: I have nightmares about gay people. I have this nightmare that I go to Hollywood, and find out Mr. T is a faggot. Really. And he'd be walking up to people going:
[Mr. T voice]
Eddie Murphy: Hey boy, hey boy! Ya look mighty cute in them jeans. Now come on over here... and fuck me up the ass! C'mon. I'm gonna bend over now. Grrr! Aaahh! Hey, boy, slow down, you're gonna mess around and come too fast. You'll make me get mad and I'll clench up my butt cheeks and rip your dick off!
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Eddie Murphy: [Eddie takes the plane south, looking for racism] ... he said "Is this your bag?" I said "Yeah, that's my fucking bag! Why, motherfucker? A black man can't have a suitcase?"
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Eddie Murphy: Does anyone have a mother that would hit you with a shoe? I had a mother that would throw a shoe at you at the drop of a dime. And fuck you up wherever she was aiming. So by the time I was like ten, my mother was like Clint Eastwood with a shoe...
The Distinguished Gentleman (1992) movie quotes
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Eddie Murphy movie quotes , playing Thomas Jefferson Johnson:
movie quotes: I'm madder than a Baptist in a brothel, you som-bitch!
movie quotes: I tell ya, I'm bout as crazy as a dog in a hubcap factory.
movie quotes: Well I've got to do something to help these people
movie quotes: Chairman Dodge, please! Would you tell him that it's Mr. Joshua Benjamin from the NAACP on the line! Actually Mame, you could be a great deal of help, I have a few minor questions. I would like to know how many members of the Chairman's committee are African American?... None... Well, surely, there must be a Latino member on the committee... No Latinos either... Ah! Does ah! the Chairman have any Asians or Native Americans on the Committee? No Asians and no Natives. Does the Chairman have any Handicaps or Gays on the Committee? No Gays. Well, thank you mame, you've been a great deal of help.
movie quotes: Don't tell me you're actually developing a conscience. God I hope not, it's gonna be a fuckin' nuisance in Congress.
The Nutty Professor (1996) movie quotes
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Eddie Murphy movie quotes , playing Buddy Love:, Papa Klump:, Mama Klump: Ernie Klump: Sherman Klump: Grandma Klump:
movie quotes: Your mother's so fat, the bitch needs Thomas Guide to find her asshole!
movie quotes: Alright! Wait, wait, wait, your mother's so fat, after sex I roll over twice, and I'm still on the bitch!
movie quotes: Your mother is so fat, she fell in the Grand Canyon and got stuck!
movie quotes: I think I do remember hearing somethin' on TV about colon cleansin'. They say everyone should have one. I'm thinkin' about gettin' me an appointment and go down and get my colon cleansed thoroughly.
movie quotes: You want your colon cleansed? [Farts] Fine, I'm gonna clean mine! There, my colon is clean. My colon is squeaky clean!
movie quotes: Mama Klump: Cletus, the dog has ripped the garbage bag open again.
movie quotes: Papa Klump: Well, shoot the damn dog!
movie quotes: Buddy Love: What's wrong with that breath? I can smell it over her Reggie, Your breath is so stinky people look forward to your farts. Do you smell shit?
movie quotes: Is that a test tube n my pocket, or am I just happy to see you?
movie quotes: Oh you mean rich dummy terms? Oh okay then. Alright everybody listen up. When you go out to dinner and eat nasty greasy shit like this, now I know this may look real nice, but do you know there is a gene in your DNA that moves this straight to your fat cells, thus resulting in what this woman has what I like to call jello arm... ...where the arm moves in a jellatin motion. And over here this man is what we like to call turkey neck, to my immediate left this lady is suffering from what we like to call battle bag syndrome and to my extreme left, this lady is suffering from what we like to call TANK ASS!
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